In the End

“In the end that’s what we will be judged for”

Have you heard this and felt scared of being judged by God? Scared that Jesus will condemn you? I had a powerful moment this morning when I read a passage that began with “…..and that’s what we will be judged for in the end.”  It landed with a harshness that felt misaligned with the way God has shown God’s self to me in the past few years. So I sat with it. And this is what my soul felt.

The judge is already inside of us whether we are listening or acknowledging it or not. We might be moving in resistance to it with our rebellion or bowing in reverence with our pleasing and striving. Either way. It’s inside of us already, quite possibly driving us mad with conflict and inner turmoil.

What if “in the end” what really happens is that Jesus simply sits with us, and He lovingly holds space for us in the way we need it for the parts of us to all have their say. Is there room then for this Judge to sit in its robe, in the high seat of the court and damn us or pardon us for every action and thought we’ve had in this life, in this body, with these breaths?

What if the judge isn’t really God? What if God is so vastly loving that God can hold the line for ALL of you and ALL of me and let it be as it may? Maybe the judge is simply part of our ego, desperate to keep us in line. Regardless, when all of these judgements and parts melt away, there’s only Love left.

Now, if we’ve wronged and harmed and hurt and run amuck over our sense of morality, our deep sense of connectedness and unity, the melting away may feel like a torching because we’ve sheathed ourselves in such a dense shell that the jackhammers are required. As our hearts long for freedom from the shell, the excavation will have been worth it.

Remember getting in trouble as a child when a parent was angry? Versus when a parent was loving? The memory of getting in “trouble” with love versus the memory that elicits shame and harshness. God’s reckoning with us is different. Our human harshness will be there melting away as the Love of God shines over it, in it, and through it.

Who knows?